Sometimes

Luke 1:18-25

I am a big fan of the Wild at Heart book by John Eldridge. My brother turned me on to it earlier this year and I found it to be a tremendous blessing. Many have criticized the book for various reasons. I will be the first to say that it certainly isn't a Catholic book but darn close. I disagree with some of his statements but overall it has been very healing for me and in fact given me some of my life back or at least the courage to move on. Another criticism is that after reading the book many men take off to be "wild at heart" by going hiking, hunting, etc. There is nothing wrong with doing these things except when it is done at the expense of the family. I believe that men who do this - go off and leave the family every weekend to be "wild at heart" - have completely missed huge sections of the book. John talks about the wound that every man has and that that wound almost always comes from the father. I would suggest to those "wild" men that their misinterpretation of the book could be the very thing that causes their son's wound.

I have now begun the follow-up book The Way of the Wild Heart. So far, this has been another awesome book that really takes a look at what makes a man. In one section the reader is invited to remember and relive times in his childhood. Here the reader examines the good and the bad. It is a very personal experience and I don't plan to write about it here. What I would like to mention is Eldridge's call for men to know that they are a beloved son of the Father. This is extremely important issue today and I would suggest the short yet powerful book, Call Him Father: Experiencing the Fatherhood of God, to anyone and especially to men.

As I was thinking of all these things I have read I decided to ask my oldest son a very pointed question. He was rearranging ornaments on the Christmas tree and I simply said, "I love you Anthony." He replied, " I love you too dad." Then I said, "You know that I love you, right?" To which he replied, "Yes, I know you love me." So my next question, the one I had been planning to ask was launched, "How do you know that I love you?" I was blown away by his answer, "Because you play with me." A simple, honest answer but there was an almost insignificant pause and he added, "sometimes." My heart almost broke, I recognized the pause but didn't make an issue of it. I moved on to ask in what ways do I play with him. It was the usual - letting him be the bull rider and me the bull, him Peter Pan and me Captain Hook, flipping him over my head, charging the castle (house) etc. It was all the rough and tumble, adventurous stuff that fill the worlds of boys...and men! I made a personal resolution to make myself more available for play to Anthony and all my children. The "sometimes" is unacceptable in my book!

I think of all this today as the Church gives us a short reading about St. Joseph and his struggle with and acceptance of the will of God in Mary's pregnancy. I often like to think of what sort of things Joseph and Jesus did. Did he make forts for Jesus? Did he make swords? Did he spin Jesus around until they were both dizzy falling to the floor laughing? Did Mary roll her eyes as they wrestled on the floor or told endless "knock-knock" jokes?

Joseph was a "just man" and he is an example for all fathers. The Father trusted Joseph enough to take care of Jesus. The Father trusts us enough to care of the children He gives us. If we want to be good fathers, we must look to St. Joseph and our Heavenly Father for example.

Thank you Lord for your trust in me. Help me to imitate You and St. Joseph so that I might be the best father I can be always not just "sometimes."

FROM THE SAINTS -Love for his wife as mother of their children and love for the children themselves are for the man the natural way of understanding and fulfilling his own fatherhood. Above all where social and cultural conditions so easily encourage a father to be less concerned with his family or at any rate less involved in the work of education, efforts must be made to restore socially the conviction that the place and task of the father in and for the family is of unique and irreplaceable importance. As experience teaches, the absence of a father causes psychological and moral imbalance and notable difficulties in family relationships, as does, in contrary circumstances, the oppressive presence of a father, especially where there still prevails the phenomenon of "machismo," or a wrong superiority of male prerogatives which humiliates women and inhibits the development of healthy family relationships. - Pope John Paul II (the Great) - Familiaris Consortio # 25