Tuesday, April 05, 2011

In Conversation with God

Me: "Why are you so silent? Why don't you ever speak to me?"

God: "I do, always, constantly."

Me: "I never hear you."

God: "Are you listening?"

Me: "I think I am. I try to hear you, to see you, to feel you, to know you, but all I ever hear or see is silence. It's enough to make one doubt."

God: "Maybe you don't understand my language."

Me: "Can you try another?"

God: "The language I'm using now is the most basic, sorry, but I can't make it any more simple."
Me: "Well, then, how can I understand you? How can we have a conversation? How can I know that you are even there or love me."

God: "Does your daughter Catherine understand every word you say?"

Me: "No, probably not."

God: "Do you think she understands any words you say, except her name?"

Me: "I doubt it very much..."

God: "Do you still love her? Do you stop talking to her because she can't understand you? Do you abandon her and give up?"

Me: "Yes, no, no"

God: "Does she ignore you because she can't understand you? Does she stop putting her arms up for you to pick her up because she can't understand a word you say? Does she stop smiling at you? Does she stop loving you because you and she speak different languages at this time in your lives?"

Me: "no"

God: "Then why would you treat me that way? Why would stop believing in me because you can't always understand me? Why would you turn your back on me when you see all that I have given you? Why do you stop loving me when my words are hard to understand or hard to hear? Why do you stop putting out your hands to me?"

Me: "I never looked at it like that."

God: "Jim, your faith, your religion is about relationship, a relationship with me. There are always communication problems in relationships. However, the problem is in your interpretation. You interpret my silence as my absence. You do not yet know my language, this most basic language. You need to take a language course."

Me: "Now you're poking fun at me. I admit, I do have an interpretation problem. I'm a guy. I'm visual. I want to see you, talk to you, walk with you. I know, I know, you'll say, 'read my letters to you', but that bothers me sometimes. I read about how you walked and talked with Adam and Eve and how Moses spoke with you as a friend but I, I guess I feel like I'm not good enough for that."

God: "I am poking fun because I love you. You are good enough for that but you are not ready for it. It is a higher language. You are like your sons when they babble on acting like they know a foreign language but they are just mumbling jiberish. You are not ready for these other languages, but if you learn the basics, you will be ready one day. Think of your own experience. Did you have conversations 20 years ago with your parents the same way you do now? No, you were not an adult and so still spoke as a child. You are an adult now physically but not spiritually. You must grow and learn and you can't do that by turning away from me."

Me: "I'm an unruly child, huh?"

God: "You all are..."

Me: "I'll see ya in the Confessional."

God: "You sure will. I love you, always have, always will. Oh, by the way, learn from Catherine what child-like faith means, that's why I gave her to you."

Me: "I'm starting to get the picture. What about the boys?"

God: "Read Luke 9:23." ;-)

2 comments:

Sarah Reinhard said...

Great post, Jim!

Pam said...

Very insightful!

The Smallest Act of Love