Luke 12:49-53In the Old Testament book of Exodus and the book of Numbers we see God's people wandering about the desert after leaving Egypt. They wander for years and years. The reason for their wandering was that God had taken them out of Egypt but He was having a difficult time taking Egypt out of their hearts. He would not allow them to enter the Promised Land with Egypt still in their hearts. Over and over they long for Egypt and especially so when they are faced with a difficulty. Instead of relying on the Lord who has done so much for them, they complain, they grumble, and they imagine that life in Egypt was far better than where they are now. How quickly they forget the oppression and slavery they once endured.
In reading these stories I am tempted to wonder about the mental state of these folks. I question how they could not see the hand of God in freeing them. I am amazed that they question God's love even after He feeds them and gives them drink in miraculous ways. But then I stop and realize that I too often long for Egypt, for the days when I was enslaved to sin.
In today's first reading, Saint Paul asks a very pointed question, "[
W]hat profit did you get then from the things of which you are now ashamed?" What is it that I long for when I want to turn back to my former life? What is it about that life that is so appealing? God has taken me out of the sinful ways of my former life but He is having a difficult time taking the sin out of my heart. My "Egypt" experience is deeply embedded!
In today's Gospel Jesus tells me that He has come not to bring peace but division. But here is the paradox, His peace is division, division from that which is not of God. He wants to divide me from sin and eternal death for as St. Paul says, "
the wages of sin is death." This is what sin pays out, this is what my reward or payment for my service to sin is, death - eternal death. Jesus brings peace to my life by bringing division. It often happens that that division is painful. For in separating me from sin He may necessarily need to separate me from that which leads me to sin, even people I love.
Of the things I miss most about my former life, it is those lost friendships that cause me pain. Yet, at the same time, it is that division that has changed my life, made me more Christ-like, and brought me true peace. As I wander through this valley of tears I pray that God may work in strong ways to remove Egypt from my heart. I pray that I may press on towards the promised land for if the "
wages of sin is death" then the payment or wages of holiness is truly eternal life!
FROM THE SAINTS -
"In the kind of affliction, then, which can bring either good or ill, we do not know what it is right to pray for; yet, because it is difficult, troublesome and against the grain for us, weak as we are, we do what every human would do, we pray that it may be taken away from us. We owe, however, at least this much in our duty to God: if he does not take it away, we must not imagine that we are being forgotten by him but, because of our loving endurance of evil, must await greater blessings in its place." Saint Augustine
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