Do You Love Me?

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I read today's Gospel through tears of joy. I was profoundly touched by the conversation between Jesus and Peter. I was moved to tears by the gentleness and compassion Jesus shows to Peter, and to us if we but ask.  The gregarious, outspoken disciple is finally humbled by the Lord and recognizes, maybe for the first time, that Jesus truly loves him, trusts him, forgives, and forgets all of Peter's failings and weaknesses. This passage is moving but we would do well to first read the entire 21st Chapter of John, a mere 25 verses to really understand how the relationship between these two men has moved to an entirely different level. John brings his Gospel to a close by taking us back to the very beginning of the relationship. Back then, Peter was out fishing all night, catching nothing, before his first encounter with the Lord. Here too, Peter, who is at this point confused, wrestling with emotions of hope and guilt, joy and sorrow, is out fishing all night catching nothing. Ag
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Trapped by Truth: A Poem

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The Truth haunts me in the dark,
Has kept a hold and left His mark.
Black and still,
Both heart and mind,
Grasping, searching, wanting.

Leave all behind and walk away,
No God, no Truth, the voices say.
Tears run cold,
Down cheeks of steel,
Wanting, needing, fading.

Light is near but felt not seen,
Suffering makes the senses keen.
An empty space,
A template blank,
Fading, waning, breathing

No escape, to whom shall I go?
Face, facade nothing to show,
Keep up the dance,
Step back in line,
Breathing, crying, running.

Inescapable snare with death like hold,
Escape is death and flesh grown cold,
Held until the fever goes,
The nails and wood are kissing,
Running, resting, living.

I wrote this poem about 13 years ago in a place of darkness and personal sin yet shortly before going to confession.  As much as I have wrestled with God over the years, He has me trapped and I'm glad.  He holds me tight as the fever of sin ravages my soul, never letting go of His love for me.  This fever will never leave until it is time for me to enter eternity where I will run with joy, rest in peace, and live in eternal light, the Truth that here I do not fully comprehend blinded as I am at times by my fever.

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