A very good friend of mine began drinking alcohol when he was about 15 years old. He shared some wine coolers with a friend on whim. He enjoyed the taste and the euphoric feeling the alcohol created. Unfortunately for him, this was just the beginning of a lifelong struggle with the substance.
Throughout his teenage years he drank often. He persuaded relatives and the older siblings of friends to purchase alcohol for him. He would even sneak bottles of vodka or some other liquor in through his basement window and carry the bottles up to his room hidden beneath a load of laundry.
From his teenage years on through early adulthood alcohol was simply part of his life like food, exercise, fishing, music, or gaming. He didn't know it at the time but he would be classified as a high functioning alcoholic. He was the type of guy who appeared normal in all other aspects of life from school to work, social life and more. He held everything together for the most part but underneath he leaned heavily on alcohol.
As a young adult he did the same things that other young adults did. He had a job, went to college, and partied. He played hard and partied hard. Yet, either through tolerance or genetic makeup, many wondered if he ever really got drunk. It seemed the more he drank, the less it seemed to affect him. He seldom reached the point of passing out or hurting himself or others. He didn't rack up DUIs or get fired from a job because he was drunk.
For the first 16 years after his marriage he slowed down a bit. However, the stresses of life, work, family, marriage, and all the rest led him to return to alcohol more and more. It began with a bit of bourbon before bed and grew worse. He began drinking every night. He drank to the point of barely even being able to function at night and climb into bed.
He would occasionally stop for a period, maybe giving it up for Lent or participating in Exodus 90 but inevitably he would return to the bottle to help reduce his stress and anxiety. He did this not knowing that it was having the opposite effect over the long run. His wife expressed her concern more than once. He would slow down but quickly return spurred on by a holiday or party.
One night he and his wife went to a party hosted by friends and due to his anxiety, nervousness around new people, and addiction he began drinking heavily to compensate. The next morning he was too hungover to go to Mass with his family.
He went to a later Mass by himself. Later that morning he took his son to work and went to another parish church and sat in the quiet, empty pews staring at the large Crucifix above the altar. He cried. He cried tears of sorrow for the way he had treated his wife, a daughter of God, and wondered how he would feel if a son-in-law treated his own daughter that way. He cried tears of sorrow for the way he had treated his family and the poor example he had given his sons. He cried out for help from the Lord to help him understand his addiction and overcome it and all the pain that would enter into his heart if he let alcohol go.
God heard his prayers and answered them 100 fold. He vowed to never drink again no matter how difficult. He struggled, was tempted terribly but held fast to his vow even when others around him were drinking. He stumbled upon a podcast by Dr. Andrew Huberman that thoroughly explained alcohol, how it works, it's effects, and why it affects people differently. This podcast strengthen his resolve and was a great tool for him to recall in times of weakness and temptation. It was not easy for my friend because without alcohol he was forced to deal with the pain, anxiety, and hardships of life head on and sober.
I'm happy to say that this post does have a happy ending. It was February 12, 2022 that my friend took his final drink of alcohol and hasn't had one since. He's happier, more creative, more loving, and has learned to deal with life in more creative and expressive ways. He ( I ) will celebrate two years sober tomorrow.
Today in the Office of Readings St. Benedict speaks of wisdom. In this reading I have found a prayer of sorts that has struck me to the heart and I hope to pray it everyday. St. Benedict says, "...the just man is his own accuser, next he gives glory to God, and thirdly, if his wisdom extends that far, he edifies his neighbor."
Lord, give me wisdom. Give me the wisdom to recognize my sins (accuse myself), give You glory in all that I do, and to share that wisdom with others if it is Your will.
I was an alcoholic, God freed me from my slavery and I give all glory to Him for giving me my life back, He can do the same for you.
Lagniappe - My Theme Song (Happy 2nd anniversary to my "fondest friend")
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